When I was in SK last Wednesday, I was talking to my nurse about my treatment options. The doctor really doesn't give you a whole lot of information, mainly because they really don't know how you will react to the treatments. Cancer is a strange beast because one person could be on a certain drug protocol and it works great for them, you can be on the same one, and it doesn't work for you. Also, the protocol can kick ass for a while, then it will stop being effective. That is part of the reason, I believe, that cancer is hard to cure. If it were only a matter of taking chemo to kill the cancer cells, we could all be cured. But it ain't. So, my options seem to be these:
- Continue on the chemo until it is no longer effective
(who knows how long that will be. I get reevaluated in 3 weeks or so) - Have an operation when the chemo is no longer working
I feel at times like I am stuck between a rock and a hard place. I hate the chemo. I hate operations. The last two I had left me in the hospital for 16 days the first time and 12 days the second time. I lost over 40 pounds, I had a tube up my nose and into my stomach to drain my fluids because my digestive system didn't seem to want to start up again. That tube was put in a total of 4 times with the last operation in Dec 04, 3 of those times were when I was awake. Imagine trying to stick a drinking straw through a not quite ripe cantaloupe and make a 90 degree turn halfway there. I can't think of anything worse. And somehow, this last chemo has really gotten me thinking about my experiences with the hospital stays. I don't know why, but it has. I just have to take it one day at a time and one step at a time.
4 comments:
I don't know what to say.
Two options are two better than no options. This wasn't the most cheery post.
It's an honest account of what you're going through. I'm certainly not qualified to give advice or opinions on such things.
i don't think i'd opt for the surgery . . . but like you suggest, who knows until you are in that situation?
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