I repeat myself a lot. I'd like to think it's only from the chemo brain but's it's probably old age too. So I sit and wait for results and I sit and wait for side effects. This week is different because I really don't have any physical ones. Emotionally, I'm a fucking nutcase. I do see my pattern that I've created though. Dana is very supportive but I know she gets scared at times although we both feel I'll get through this. I do feel I push her away a little. I tend to get clingy with some work people and bloggers and my SIL. She's got her own stuff now so I think she feels a solidarity with me. It goes beyond that too but that's enough for this blog. My stomach does not feel great but in comparison it's not too bad. My toe is getting weird again and I still have the numbness in my feet. That's going on two years now. I feel like I have hobbit feet (fuzzy)
back to work....
2 comments:
Well, I tend to repeat myself alot too..I like to think it's just that I have alot of friends. I'm making excuses..hahaha
At least you recognize a pattern you've created..so maybe you're a plain nutcase instead of a fucking one ;) I think I understand how you can feel more open with "semi-anonymous" blogger friends. I see how there are some things you could share with us rather than with your wife. Not saying either way is the correct way..just that I understand, and would think your wife would too. I know my Dad was very private during his treatment, and held alot of things from my Mom, and certainly from us kids. Felt he was protecting us, I suppose.
Poor wierd toe hobbit footed Phil ;) You know you could buy hobbit foot looking houseshoes at Wal-Mart during the LOTR popularity. Then you would have been in high style!
Take care, my friend
Kayla
Old age? Already? That early? Can’t be! Must be the chemo or something.
I hate waiting and it always makes think of this quote “How much of human life is lost in waiting.” - Ralph Waldo Emerson. I personally can’t stand waiting, but sometimes you just have to be patient (or a patient). Just a few more days to go now and you will be in my thoughts on Monday. Of course I hope you will get some good news, but most of all I hope it will be the news you are hoping for.
Take care, Phil.
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