Friday, November 25, 2005
Blah
Here it is the day after Thanksgiving. I have a lot to be thankful for with having good friends and family and for being around another year. I think I'll have many more but you never know when the cancer will come back, and I have to get rid of it first. I've really been feeling blah as of late. I don't quite know what the deal is. Work has been ok although my boss has been setting me up (unintentionally I think) so I look stupid in meetings. I have to talk to him about that. And there is still that tension with certain people there. Home life is ok, the usual. Not enough time together, the kids are at us, my fingers are killing me, my abdoman is still messed up, I feel like I've been kicked in the stomach a lot. I feel lost and overwhelmed I think. I don't see this feeling going away in the near future either. I don't know when it will if ever. I can't wait until I make it to the 5 year mark being cancer free. This Feb it will be 2 years since being diagnosed, but I guess that I don't start counting until I'm cancer free? I don't know..
8 comments:
Dont worry, Phil. I know I am on the outside looking in, but I truly think you are a survivor. I am guessing it is too cold for your meditation-like boating, so lets find something else as soothing?? Maybe go get an hour long professional massage?
I am so sorry you are not feeling better fully and you feel blah. I cannot imagine your BLAH days compared to mine and so I will just leave this little message that I am thinking about you today and hope you have a better weekend! Go get stuffed on some more Pumpkin Pie, Then you will have the other pains to worry about to take your mind off the usual.
Cheers!
Molly
Hi Puddin'...like me, you sometimes feel the need to take your pulse and find out why you're feeling the way you are...most of the time, this is a good idea so you can get to the root of it, but sometimes you just have to accept that this is the way you feel and whatever it is, it will pass...because if you really thought about it, there probaby are good reasons...so let yourself have a few down days and enjoy the good and the bad, the richness of life, it's all good with the litmus losenge.:)
Phil,
I missed being able to comment on you blog while I was gone. The computer I was on had a pretty good pop up blocker, and some blogs show comments in a pop up window...yours was one.
I'm sorry to hear about your fingers being in pain, and that your feeling "blah". When you feel that way, it seems as if you'll always feel that way. Keep fighting those feelings. Don't give in to them.
Thanks for being such a great blog friend.
Phil, I agree with Southernspeak. Everybody has down days. You can search for the reasons, but you can also let yourself have a couple of those days. What ever you do, don’t think about the reasons or your feelings too much…..if you keep thinking about them, it will only make you feel depressed even more.
I hope you feel better soon :)
me & whats left of my spirit this tough week is with u. lets both feel better. together now.
Hi Phil,
I've been reading your blog---and scrolling in your archives here.
I find it very courageous of you to be so open on your blog---to even write a blog.
On the bottom of your blog, it says:
"If it weren't for cancer, I'd say I have the perfect life. If it weren't for cancer, would I even realize this?"
People complain about this, complain about that. I have the nerve to complain about a back ache that lasted three weeks. Big fricken deal.
I hope that you feel better though. I can't imagine what you're going through, but all I can say is, my prayers and thoughts are with you.
You have such a positive attitude, and you express that in your writing.
Thank you for sharing your life with us...
I don't suppose to hear me say again that you're an inspiration to me will help, but you are. You're made of tough stuff. you'll beat this thing. Who else am I going to bike with when a turn 80?
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