Feeling Stupid

I think I may be over the worst part of the cramping from the chemo, but I feel like my brain is jello. I can't think straight at all and I'm at work just trying to do simple tasks and I find I just stare at the screen. I feel very useless at this point. It's like I'm here physically, but not here mentally at all. I'm sort of scared stiff I think. Maybe it's just an anxiety attack? I'm overwhelmed with Christmas coming and not all of the gifts gotten, we are in a financial hole, my health is improving, but it's coming up on two years since being diagnosed with cancer. I can't fucking believe it. I can't remember my life before cancer it seems. I was crying beore work again too. We had a small Christmas party today but I didn't feel comfortable at all in there. I jsut want to get the hell out of here and go to bed. I miss how I used to be