Long Time, No Post

So it's been a very long time since I posted here, 4 months about. Things are status quo. I have noticed that I have a reader from WebTV who does not comment but visits a lot. I'm not sure who this is. Feel free to comment or not comment. I'm sitting here waiting for my meds to be ready, this is usually done by 9-9:30. Here it is 11:11 am and I'm not in. I'm PISSED but luckily I took some stuff to calm me down. I still have a spot on my right lung. I had one fried back in September. I had been hoping that I would have been all clear after my March operation but that was not the case. I had hoped that I'd be done with chemo by now. Again, not the case. This is a never ending situation it appears. I have to accept that I have a chronic illness that will need constant treatment. Even if I get a break, I will be back on chemo I imagine and also when I have had breaks, it seems that more shit grows and that means an operation. I'd almost rather just continue with the chemo and deal with each small tumor as they develop. At least the RFA is just an overnight stay with little or no recovery time. An operation is a two week ordeal in the hospital with a 4-6 week recovery at home. I am stitched out too I think. 4 operations so far in under 4 years, 125-130 treatments of chemo too. I'm amazed I'm still chugging away and still working. I have been trying to get back to a happy place and be accepting of my situation but it's hard. I try to play my guitar a lot and to jam with friends. Also, I try to spend more time with the kids playing ping-pong and having fun. I took Dylan to see a concert, Zappa Plays Zappa on Halloween, it was his first concert. We had a great time, I know he'll always remember me for that. I have been trying to spend more quality time with Dana too.

As far as blogging goes, it's been a drag at times. I had someone I felt I was good friends with but that friendship ended. I feel it's for the better. It was strange and strained from the get-go with issues of trust, bouts of paranoia and other oddities. I do honestly hope that they are well and are doing what they need to do, whatever that means, right? I know that I am far from perfect but I was always honest with them. I do feel blogging is a haven for nutcases, myself included at times.